| since there`s something wrong with this xanga, i moved here:
www.xanga.com/melanie_pearl
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| "Don't bother to tell me about william. I don't want to meet him yet; I won't approve until I see that he has an education. Alam mo totoo lahat yung ano sinasabi nya? How can I know that what he says or feels for you is real? You should keep your options open and just be friends."
I had such a difficult conversation with mom this morning. She says she isn`t completely against my relationship with william but she wants us to just be friends for now. She actually met him and made me talk to him when we were at his house, which is pretty ironic, so she knows he`s a nice, hard-working, and respectful guy. But she still doubts what he feels for me, especially because we only spend time together for very few days. Her biggest fear is that he won`t be able to support me if me and him get as serious as marriage. She wants me to have the best and be with the best so she wants me to keep my options open--- hence the just being friends suggestion.
She doesn`t understand that I don`t need any other option; all i want is him.
At first I was pretty hesitant starting a relationship with him also. Just meeting him and only spending two days for quality time together is a huge risk to start anything. But in time, he`s proven himself to me and I believe every word he tells me. In my heart, I don`t think I`ll ever find anyone who can love me the way he does-- No one ever has and no one ever will. I know life will be hard if my future is with him, but I don`t mind being the "dominant provider" in the family. I understand my mother`s worry but after talking to william, I know most of his lifestory. (I appreciate his honestly and openness, that`s how he earned my trust.) I know how hard he`s been working and all the sacrifices he made for others. For once, I want to be the one to be somebody to take care of him. Besides, it`s not like he`s gonna bum around while I do everything. He`s saving up money to go back to school and then work abroad-- mostly for my sake. I don`t even know where to begin to thank him for everything he`s doing just to make our relationship work. I`m aware it`ll be hard but I know I can overcome anything with him by my side.
My friend who is in a long distance relationship was having troubles with his girlfriend. Then he asked me, "How are you able to do it? You make it seem so simple."
The answer was easy. I said, "It`s because I have william."
It really hurt me to hear my mom say things like she just won`t approve. I wish she understood the lengths william is willing to go for me. And yes, it`s true I didn`t get to spend enough time with him but the time spend together was magical. I`m not one to just give my love freely, I learned from my past mistakes. Somehow, he ended up winning my heart. Even I`m surprised. He`s trying so hard to warm up to my parent`s, even writing a letter in hopes they won`t hate him, yet it`s like it`ll mean nothing to them. I really hope they start to open their minds and heart to him, at least little by little. He`s different, I wish they knew that as well as I do. I`ve never met anyone like him. I`ve never been as happy as the past 6+months with him and I don`t think I can ever feel this way with anyone else.
This isn`t just a simple phase. I can choose to trust him or not but I really have no reason to doubt him anymore. I`m madly and deeply in love with a boy and his name is william aromin.
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| school is really stressing me out. i`m terrified that i`m going to fail so many classes. if that happens, i might lose my scholarship and then i wouldn`t know how i could finish my degree in time before i transfer. i don`t know what`s wrong with me. i`ve never felt this stupid before. -__-"
i wish this semester was over already.
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| he sees my weak points and seeks to understand them. he gives me a love as unexplainable as he is. i`ve never met anyone like him. he is beyond amazing and far more than incredible.
i`m probably the luckiest person alive.
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| ugh. this is the last thing i need to be happening in my life.
yesterday, i was reminded of why i can`t stand the kind of person i am.
i really wish i could talk to him. he is everything to me. i would do anything for this boy. anything he asks of me, i do it in a heartbeat. if i can make him smile, suddenly everything i`m slaving myself over becomes worth it just for those few seconds. it`s insane how much he means to me. i love him more than i have ever found a way to say.
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